As for all of us, I've been eating since the process started in my Mother's womb 31 years ago. Up until a few years ago, I was able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted, without much worry. Sure, I was still trying to eat on the healthy side and had my share of fad diets off and on but that was all by choice.
1.5 years ago I was told I needed to start avoiding gluten. At the very least, I had a gluten intolerance and at the most, had Celiac's Disease. So, I started reading and researching all about gluten and the gluten free diet and had to drastically change how I shopped (reading every label looking for hidden gluten), how I cooked/baked (using all kinds of ingredients I had never heard of before - xanthan gum, say what?!), how I cleaned my kitchen (even crumbs from Andy's bread could make me feel icky), and how I budgeted for groceries (going GF is expensive - especially at first). It was an intense first 2-3 months but I quickly found recipes, ingredients, and products that would make this transition easy and great tasting.
2+ months ago I was told I needed to start avoiding all yeast, all sugar (even fruit), and anything with vinegar. This meant no more BBQ sauce, ketchup, mayonnaise, salad dressings, salsa. No more of my favorite GF bread. No more fruit, no more chocolate (except unsweetened cocoa powder), no more a lot of things. One of my favorite snacks, no more pickles. Ugh. Soon, I found out that list included no more bacon, sausage, or other smoked meats. Double Ugh. Of the two major food transitions - this one is definitely the harder!
Once again I find myself reading every label, scouring the internet for gluten free, yeast free, sugar free soups (not an easy thing but I did find two GOOD ones), and starting over with new recipes. Again.
I've learned a few things about myself through this and one is that to make real change takes REAL effort! So many of us, myself included, have said we were going to do this or that or stop doing this or that and have sincere intentions but after a few days, it didn't stick. We'd get distracted or extra busy or have a crisis and then back to old habits. I know I was this way about working out. Until I had started going to curves (before I got sick), I had tried so many different routines, videos, etc and nothing ever really seemed to work. It took awhile but I finally did find something that worked with my schedule and my abilities. This is not the only area of my life but just one example. For others, it could be sticking to a budget or limiting caffeine intake or avoiding bad situations instead of walking head first into them. Having to re-learn again what was ok and not ok to eat took a lot of time, effort, and research. Sometimes it involves emailing a company and waiting for an answer. Sometimes it means reading through website after website and then asking your doctor his opinion because each site says something different. It also means saying "no" to yourself on a regular basis because no- you can't eat that peach or no- you can't eat that chocolate or no- you can't have that salad dressing or worse yet, no- you can't eat that bacon. ;)
Another thing I've learned about myself is since I can remember, I have equated good food with happiness. Now, I'm not saying food is what made me happy as in total life happiness but each meal that turned out well was a shot of happiness (like a shot of adrenaline) that added to my day. It gave me something to look forward to. I'm now having to re-learn how I think about food. Instead of it always being something that will taste awesome, I often have to settle for something that is just going to get me through to the next meal. I don't eat bad tasting food, just not always my favorite food. And that's ok. It's also making me re-learn how I think about food that does contain sugar or yeast when it doesn't need to and it would still taste great. It's teaching me how to take a second look at what is really going into my body and what isn't worth eating even though it might taste wonderful. I'm trying to re-learn what tastes good by remembering how good it is for me and using that to factor in why I would want to eat it instead of on pure taste alone.
All of this has had me thinking a lot about my spiritual life, too. Do I get as happy to spend time in God's word or in prayer as I do about food? Do I get as disappointed about missing a bible study or church as I do about missing REAL pizza or REAL bread? Am I willing to put the kind of effort it takes to stick to my new diet that it would to make real changes in my spiritual life? I love God so much but does my life, attitude, and time spent reflect that? Re-learning food has got me thinking about re-learning other routines in my daily life and the most important one being time with God. He's the reason I have purpose, joy, and peace in the midst of all this craziness and I long to honor Him by how I spend my life. Each day that passes without real change or without exerting real effort to change is a day wasted on stuff that doesn't matter and won't matter once we're no longer here. It's not easy changing habits that are almost 30 years old but almost nothing worth anything comes easily to begin with.
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