Strength

Last week was rough.  Andy, after just getting over a pretty bad cold, was now sick with a stomach bug.  I was feeling extra yucky, too.  We're thinking it might have been because I was fighting off the cold Andy had had.  So, Friday we are both home sick and Friday just happened to be one of the nicest days we've had in a long time.  Nearly 70 degrees, little wind - just perfect.  It was driving Andy mad to be stuck in the house on such a nice day.  He stopped and looked at me and asked, "How do you do it?  I'm going crazy over here and you've had to do this for nearly two years now.  You have to be the strongest person I know because I couldn't do this." 


Hearing my husband say that brought out two different kinds of emotions.  On one hand, it felt good to have someone acknowledge how hard this has been for me.  To hear in his voice true admiration for me was nice and it felt good.  On the other hand, (later in the day) it also made me feel upset.  Not at him, but at being reminded of how hard this is, how long it's been, and no clear end in sight.  You see, I've always thought of Andy as being tough.  He's always been a hard worker and a strong person because of it.  When I first met him, he was working multiple jobs which meant crazy, early hours on top of going to school and making good greats at that.  I could never have worked the hours he did and still had good grades in college.  I always thought he was the strong one when comparing the two of us.  So, to hear him say what he said was in many ways a giant compliment and yet a giant reminder of just how hard this is; hence, the sadness. 

We talked a bit about how God has been the source of strength through this - trust me, I'm under no delusion that I've done this on my own.  God has given me strength from Him to get me through all of this and without it, I'd hate to think where I'd be.  We kind of chuckle about the "mantras" out there that talk about strength coming from within or by being true to oneself.  It's a load of garbage because we both know that if it were left to our own strength, we would have given up by now.

Every time I have asked God for that extra boost to help me through, He has answered.  Two weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, I was feeling extra down and longing for some kind of encouragement.  Later that day, Caleb and Des gave me an orchid plant (which is gorgeous) and a card that had very encouraging words.  They made my day with that gift.  :)  Then this last weekend, after having a really bad week, my husband came home after bible study Saturday morning to surprise me with an awesome card and a new iPhone!  I had no idea he was going to do this and it was such a great surprise!!  I was almost speechless for half the day.  Now, some may call those random acts of kindness or just intuition on their parts but I firmly believe that God was using them to answer my prayers. I see Caleb and Des pretty often and yet on the very day I had asked God for some kind of encouragement was the time they decide to bring a card and flowers?  Just not a coincidence.  Apparently, Andy's been thinking about getting me this phone for awhile but didn't until this last Saturday - after having a rough week I now appreciated this and almost needed this more than I would have before.  See, this God of the bible, He knows our needs and gets us through because He loves us more than we could ever know.