Ouch!

One of the things that I've come to expect in my new normal is lots of pain.  We're talking RA (rheumatoid arthritis) levels of joint pain.  Like the kind of pain that no hot bath, no amount of Advil, or no matter how many times you use Bengay - it's still there.  Some days are worse than others and sometimes it's only one specific joint but all joints are susceptible.  Sometimes the pain is dull.  Sometimes it feels like something is inside my bones scraping them from the inside out.  Pain is awful for any of us and anyone who's lived with continuous pain knows the battle it can be to smile, let alone be pleasant or happy. 

For me, the joints that have been affected the most are my wrists and hands.  Even though one never really gets "used" to pain, I've come to accept it as part of my life now (or at least for now).  But sometimes, I'm still surprised by it or rather by it's limiting effects.  Take today, for example, I hand wrote a card (maybe two small paragraphs) and couldn't use my right hand for a good twenty minutes after due to the pain it caused.  I don't do much hand writing at all so I was a bit surprised at how hard it was for me to do.  Last night, I was kicking myself again because I needed to juice a lime and I keep forgetting to buy a juicing device.  Thankfully, Andy was home so I had him help me.  Another irritation is my hands giving out without warning.  Because of this, I drop stuff pretty often.  So far, nothings broken because of this but I have come close a few times to taking a toe or two off when I drop a knife in the kitchen.  (I almost always wear my Crock slippers now when I'm working in there for this reason.) 

It's even affected how I do my hair.  Squeezing a hair straightener can be torture some days.  It's part of the reason I decided to get a perm.  With a perm, I can wet my hair down, throw in some mousse, and blow dry with a diffuser.  Easy peasy.  :)  Much easier and less painful than having to straighten each layer of my very thick hair. 

Before all of this, I never knew that pain could affect so many areas of a person's life.  It's an invisible ailment, too.  Unless you wear a back brace or knee brace that all can see - it's not something anyone can tell you're experiencing just by looking at you.  I may not "look" sick most of the time but I wouldn't wish how felt on anyone.  It takes a lot of mental discipline to not be grumpy or nasty on the days the pain is at its worst.  But the better days - you thank the Lord for each one because they help you get through.  But if you happen to run into me or someone else you know that suffers with chronic pain, if they don't seem chipper or happy - keep in mind, it's most likely not because of something you did - it's just because they are doing all they can just to get through the day. 

I hope you can read this and know that these words aren't written so I can say I have it worse or for me to whine and complain.  I share this for understanding - not just for me but for all of us who live with pain on a regular basis.  And for those of you who understand this battle - I welcome your thoughts and insight in the comments section below! 

Revelations 21:4-7 - And God shall wipe away ALL tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new.  And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.  And he said unto me, It is done.  I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.  I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.  He that overcometh shall inherit ALL things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.